CxD #199: End of an Era...
CxD Friends,
With CxD issue #199, an end or an era is upon us. It’s been my pleasure working on this newsletter every week for I guess close to 4 (‼️) years now. But the times they are a’ changin’, so…
What will CxD #200 bring next week? 🧐
1. Derek Sivers is one of the most authentic and thoughtful people I read and follow, and his no-nonsense website is inspiring in its simplicity. His recent post about not being exceptional and susceptible to all of life’s difficulties moved me deeply, especially because I love scuba diving and know what he’s talking about in terms of unexpected panic:
I thought panic attacks were for fragile hysterical people that can’t deal with life. I had never had one.
I was visiting Iceland when I looked into a lake and saw how incredibly clear the water was. I thought, “Oooooh. I want to scuba dive in there!”
I had never been scuba diving, so I found a place where I could take a week of lessons, get certified, then dive in that spot.
The lessons were great. You learn hand signals to communicate underwater. The main two signals are the classic “OK” hand, and wobbling your flat hand to say “SOMETHING WRONG”.
The first time we went underwater, in a swimming pool, I found it so tranquil and relaxing.
But when you go into the icy ocean, you have to wear a dry suit over the wetsuit. The wetsuit is hard to get on, pulling with all your strength to get that thick neoprene foam over you. Then with that restricted mobility, you have to put on the dry suit, which is like an astronaut’s space suit. It was really uncomfortable and claustrophobic.
We got into the ocean, and started diving down. But when the water got darker, I was overcome with an urge to get out of there. I just wanted to be on the phone with my friend Meredith. I wanted to have my laptop on my lap, with a cup of tea, and answer emails. I wanted to be back at my hotel. More than anything, I wanted to talk with a friend. Right now! That’s it! I’m leaving!
I knocked on the teacher’s tank, pointed up, and went to the surface. Once above water, I ripped off my mask.
The teacher came up and said, “What’s wrong?”
I frantically said, “I don’t like this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t like it. I’m going home. I’ll see you later.”
The teacher, Tobi, was so calm and peaceful. I’ll never forget this moment. He looked at me carefully for a few seconds then slowly said, “Look around. It’s a nice day. See those mountains over there? It’s beautiful here. Let’s just relax for a few minutes.”
I inflated my BCD and just floated for a while, looking around.
He also appealed to my logic by explaining that if I were to leave now, on the last day of lessons, I wouldn’t get certified before leaving Iceland, wouldn’t see that crystal-clear lake, and my lessons would be wasted.
He was right, so I just relaxed, and kept looking at the mountains in the distance, appreciating the day.
After a minute or two, I wondered why I was so scared earlier. The terror was mostly gone. I still felt it a bit, but let reason take control. We went back underwater and finished the lesson.
That night, I looked back and figured I probably had a panic attack. How strange. I didn’t think I was that kind of person…
Read the rest here:
2. Thanks to a generous CxD subscriber, lurking behind the shadowy initals “JE,” I was introduced to this podcast interview which I found to be one of the most thoughtful and vulnerable and exquisite that I’d heard in a very long time. If you care anything whatsoever about what it means to be alive, what it means to be in relationship, what friendship means and what intelligence is, how much dogs and animals and robots bring—or might in the future bring—to our lives and how we can grow as a species and solve problems of loneliness, I absolutely urge you to listen to this. And plus the two scientists/engineeers/PhDs even talk about brazilan jiu-jitsu, a character designing habit I’ve come to grow and love, so maybe their explanation of its powerful tools and processes will inspire some curiosity amongst the rest of y’all…
P.S. Hint: this will not be the last you hear from me about this episode…
JE: I’m ready for the 🥃 with which to discuss this with you. Thanks again! 🙏
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4. If you’re still obsessed by Trump or any one individual or overarching theory or principle, you are like a donkey tied to a post with a golden chain. Please ignore the click-bait title of this clip, but stay for Jon Stewart’s refusal to become binary and fear-mongering while staying true to the more intricate complexities of the problems we face and how we might actually face them.
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Bless all of your hearts, you lovely humans and furry buddies who learned to read! Until we meet again…
❤️,
CxD
I am so grateful for this newsletter, for the thought it provokes, the encouragement to be mindful and caring and kind, for the humorous entries, for the reading lists and podcast recs; best thing is the connection I feel to the author when I pull one of these up. My daily life can be hectic and I am frequently behind by several issues but I never delete one until I at least browse it. And I'm never sorry that I took the time to check it out! Congratulations on getting to #199 and thanks from the bottom of my heart! Btw, I taught scuba for 3 years here in Austin year round and I dealt with a few folks who had panic attacks on their first open water dives. Always when that happens. It was interesting to note that that instructor used a similar technique to the one I used back in the day. Cheers!