CxD #138
CxD #138
Borders vs. Boundaries; Getting High; Invitation to Say Hello and Drink 🍺
1. In CxD #137, I asked why some people are willing to completely overlook Trump’s character, even if they are openly repulsed by it. If a lying, paranoid, fear-mongering, hypocritical, self-serving, power hungry, impulsive, undisciplined con-man doesn’t dissuade you from voting for him, what are you voting for, basically? I received lots of replies, some in the public forum, but most of them emailed to me privately, because this question and its answers could create legitimate breaks in family and friendships. Thank you for all your wholehearted replies. I’m happy that sitting with the question was meaningful for many of you.
2. I wasn’t fishing for any particular views, honestly. But here’s the one that feels most applicable to this question at the moment. It’s a quote from Esther Perel’s The State of Affairs:
Whereas borders are constructed as unquestionably right… boundaries are what is right at the time, for particular people involved in a particular situation…. Whereas borders claim the unquestionable and rigid authority of law, boundaries have a fluidity, and openness to change; more a riverbank, less a tone canal. Borders demand respect, boundaries invite it. Borders divide desirables from undesirables, boundaries respect the diversity of desires.
~ Jamie Heckert
Here’s therefore the CxD answer to the question: some people discount a person’s character because that person represents a border they agree with, and they value the creation and maintenance of that border above everything else. They want to build something rigid, solid, non-permeable, that makes them feel safer and that aligns with their view of how things should be. It could be a border about abortion; it could be a border about race; or about immigration; or about taxes or the protection of your chosen belief system. But once someone––anyone, with or without character––promises you they will build that wall, whether or not they are rapists or liars or neon-pulsating-dicks–– you will vote that way because you prioritize the need to have that wall above all else.
The more firmly we hold onto our beliefs, the thicker and taller we need our walls to be. No matter what.
3. Borders ~ Maya Arulpragasam
Freedom, 'I'dom, 'Me'dom
Where's your 'We'dom?
This world needs a brand new 'Re'dom
We'dom - the key
We'dom the key'dom to life!
Let's be 'dem
We'dom smart phones
Don't be dumb!
Borders (What's up with that?)
Politics (What's up with that?)
Police shots (What's up with that?)
Identities (What's up with that?)
Your privilege (What's up with that?)
Broke people (What's up with that?)
Boat people (What's up with that?)
The realness (What's up with that?)
The new world (What's up with that?)
Am gonna keep up on all that
Guns blow doors to the system
Yeah fuck 'em when we say we're not with them
We solid and we don't need to kick them
This is North, South, East and Western
Queen (What's up with that?)
Killing it (What's up with that?)
Slaying it (What's up with that?)
Your goals (What's up with that?)
Being bae (What's up with that?)
Making money (What's up with that?)
Freaking internet (What's up with that?)
Love wins (What's up with that?)
Living lil (What's up with that?)
Being lil (What's up with that?)
Guns blow doors to the system
Yeah fuck 'em when we say we're not with them
We solid and we don't need to kick them
This is North, South, East and Western
We representing peeps, they don't play us on the FM
We talkin' in our sleep, they still listen on the system
We sittin' on a stoop
Where we get our scoop
This is how we keep it cool
This is how we do
Egos (What's up with that?)
Your values (What's up with that?)
Your beliefs (What's up with that?)
Your families (What's up with that?)
Histories (What's up with that?)
Your future (What's up with that?)
My boys (What's up with that?)
My girls (What's up with that?)
Freedom (What's up with that?)
Your power (What's up with that?)
4. Why did God in Her Divine wisdom invent Helium balloons? So We could float over any and all Walls.
The 3 hours I spent watching this David Blaine special last week were some of the most memorable and vibrant and beautiful in recent memory. Here’s the six minute summary version:
Full version:
Photos:
Daughter and Father
Better than Pixar?
What it looks like to be really high
5. This coming week, and for the next three months, I’m going to deliberately step away from lots of distractions and social media entanglements and tech gadgets to focus on doing some CxD Deep Work. Anyone trying to contact me will have a harder time because I might not reply for a few days or maybe weeks, depending on how much I like you.
But so that I don’t confuse doing Deep Work with being a recluse, and to maintain relationships and connection, I will host a weekly CxD office hours @Radio Coffee in Austin, TX. Since fall is coming, and the trees get so pretty, I’m going to hang outside from 7-10pm, every Thursday evening. First, second, and third round of beer on me if you say hello. If nobody shows up, I’ll be happy as a clam, reading and eating migas tacos. If you show up, I’ll be besides myself with delight and gratitude and awe. No reservations necessary.
If you like dancing angels with your mystery, click the